I jingle bells, and people throw things at me.
Nov 25th, 2006 by Ali
So… it’s officially holiday season. I prescribe to the whole celebrating Christmas thing, and as tradition, I get gifts because Baby Jesus was born. Billy will tell me this is sacreligious thing to say, and I will cross myself a million times, but I will go on with telling you MY CHRISTMAS LIST.
Over the years, my wants have dwindled. I always want many things, but when people ask me what I want for an event, my mind goes blank. I usually want kitschy things, like a jar of pickles and a pink aluminum tree. Well, this year, I still want pickles, but instead of pink, I would like a silver aluminum tree. Preferably recycled. This would be good for Amanda (a Jew), and for myself (who hates waste). But this is not my real list. I will buy the fake tree soon.
The 2006 “Ba-Will-Be-A-Good-Girl-And-Sit-On-Your-Lap-For-Gifts” List
* Numark PT-01
* Amy Sedaris’ “I Like You: Hospitality Under The Influence”
* Prescription glasses and eye exam
* Socks
* Jar of pickles
Billy said that if I ask for any of this, I won’t get it. Well… boo hoo. It’s what I would like. Not that I’d reject the gift of a yarn skein. That was mighty thoughtful of you. I did ask my father for glasses, and he said he’ll try. I would hope so. I do need them. Please.
Also, Amy Sedaris, a.k.a. Goddess of Awesome, is a personal hero of mine: anyone who can make cupcakes AND play a perverted middle-aged high schooler is a person after my own heart.
And I don’t care if no one uses LPs anymore. I have a genuine “Sound of Music” record that is begging to be played!
Off to spend one last night in my old bedroom, then on to Orlando. I’ll be back in less than a month. The cold won’t miss me. This week will be H-E-double-hockeysticks.
you ‘jingle bells, and people throw things at you’
…..this sounds similar to mardi gras, very similar.
What kind of pickles and how big of a jar do you want? Some people like whole pickles while others prefer spears or butter chips. Also, will an industrial sized jar of pickles be too big for your needs. It can last up three years, but you might not like pickles in the same way in six months. In fact, may I assert, that too large of a jar of pickles might turn you off to pickles entirely. However, a four gallon jar of pickles may be presuptous to gift someone, yet you may revel in the fact that, god forbid, there’s a nuclear holocost or some other world ending event, you’d have enough pickle to survive on for a long time.
I just think you need to be more specific about your pickle needs. Santa gets confuese becuase he’s getting old.
Who’s Clay? Anyways, you’ve just made getting you a Christmas gift very difficult! Now I can’t get anything on the list, even if I wanted to. I mean, what if someone buys it for you? What then!?