let me just ramble on some things i have been having inner monoogues on.
yesterday, i listened to tim mcgraw with amanda while we went to the library. i miss working in the library (a tiny bit). we saw perissa and her sister alicia (she stole my name!). i explained to amanda that the song “strawberry wine” was actually about a girl losing her virginity, and after all these years of singing it out loud, she never knew.
last night, i went to roxy’s. i love how that place is down the street from billy’s house. he lives next to one of the biggest clubs in orlando. so strange. i went with amanda and perissa, and some of amanda’s friends. i was slightly ticked because they were getting drunk, and amanda drank, and she believed that if she drank, she would have a good time. it’s only good if you want to look like a fool. i wore my new ae skirt and my new top that i got for only 8$. i was cute, dammit. sadly, the guys thought so too, so i had to fight not to dance with too many of them. i was scared of them, and i don’t like dancing with other people that aren’t other girls or billy. danced with more people than amanda, though, so i rock! so little hawt chica! all the short guys want you! and the tall guys. oh, geez. amanda said i was being “molested” by this guy who danced with me last. WELL, THAT’S BECAUSE YOU SAID YOU’D BE BACK IN FIVE MINUTES, AND I COULDN’T LEAVE THAT ONE SPOT, SO I HAD TO KEEP DANCING! i was scared. thank god she saved me. i was so happy to hug billy in the morning. going to clubs is something i can live with only once in a while.
i am going to write a manifesto (one of many, all about my hatred of men) of how women basically prostitute themselves at clubs. they dress all glitzy, and the guys just stand on the sidelines, watching what they want, and latching on to what they want. i felt dirty and used. i was looked at by all these guys, and touched. and someone kept hitting my ass! (i’m guessing it’s those bis who were behind me…) it’s sick. and they don’t know how to dance. (on the other hand, some guys dance better than those girls shaking their asses on the stages. those girls are ugly to watch sometimes.)
we got home around 2:30. i went to bed. in a blink of an eye, i woke up again. for the first time ever, bridgit was the one who had to turn off my alarm clock.
i am going to write a story that is sort of like “the bell jar” … for the 21st century. i think emily lake would hate it if it were good and she agreed with it. oh, just perfect. plus, catholics do issues better than sylvia plath could have ever done… but she topped herself off, so i guess she wins.
i wore my black striped skirt today with my new “cylon” t-shirt. the shirt looks like a billabong one, so no one really cares nor recognizes the totally awesome sci-fi reference. dammit, why am i so good? i was cute today. but it was hot. next time, no undershirt. it was too hot… and so lovingly sunny.
i was so happy to see billy this morning. he hugged me. i hugged him… to death. i told him he was starting to look kind of good with longer hair. he’s so cute, but he really needs to shave… i don’t like half-moustaches, eww. i love bibi. since today is april fool’s day, i keep sending him awesome corny jokes. i rule! (next year, i should make a fake computer virus, or steal his hamster…)
billy loves his hamster so much. so do i, but i am jealous. darn you, HARVEY! (i’m going to take away your wheel when you’re sleeping…)
guys keep, like, talking to me. john, from voice, keeps talking to me before and after class. i try to not talk so much and avoid him, but i like being talked to, since i have not many friends here. today, brenn from stats formally introduced himself (with a handshake and everything, just like i would have done), finally, which was weird, since he’s been sitting in front of me for the last three months. he seems very nice, which is weird since he listens to hard rock loudly on his cd player. he got a 95 on the last test. (darn him, i got a 75.) he said i was trying to pass the class on looks alone, since i was a cute baby, and i was cute now, but i can’t keep doing that forever. hilarious. i miss having friends to talk to here. but i feel weird if i am even slightly flirted to.
that sporty girl in my stats class is so nice. i wish i could remember her name! she’s older than me, but i keep thinking she’s a first year, too!
i’m talking to corey today. that is so weird for me because i haven’t really talked to him in the last three years. but i like talking to people, and i need to start being more SOCIAL, darn it.
i am still slightly peeved that no one commented on my shirt!
today, prof. mason laughed at me because i was using girly font to do a german assignment in the language lab. haha. i am so girly… sorry.
i was going to go to the disney character auditions at 4, but i have decided not to. 1) i hear it’s hard. you have to learn how to dance and stuff. 2) the announcement for it disappeared from the ucf websites, so i guess it was a fluke that it was up at all. so, tonight, i will go home to bi, shop and eat ice cream with him, and then plop on the couch to watch THE LAST EPISODE OF BATTLESTAR:GALACTICA! (watch it!)
i miss high school. last year, around this time, was so perfect. just being lazy. doing nothing. just waiting to graduate, hanging out with your friends… i loved that. now i shall cry. depressing.
and, talking about crying, i cried over a tim mcgraw song, and it is called “don’t take the girl.” omg, saddest ever. why, tim, WHY? and i am addicted to “it’s your love.” darn you, amanda!
i believe that is all i have to say for now. ta ta, and i shall prance around my room, getting ready to go to bill’s, and hopes for great shopping, ice cream, and hamster loving!